How Values Shape Your Family History

Values are passed down from one generation to the next, not just through formal lessons or conversations, but through the subtle cues we give every day—how we treat others, how we show up for our loved ones, and how we respond in times of stress, joy, or uncertainty. There's no way around it: our family values shape the kind of people we become—and the type of people our children grow up to be.

One of the most notable examples of this can be seen in how we maintain our relationships. If you want to stay close to your adult children later in life, that closeness needs to be nurtured early on. The way you show up for your kids when they're young sets the stage for how they'll show up for you when you're older. It's both a comfort and a wake-up call. Many of us weren't taught this directly—it was something we either witnessed or didn't, and now we're the ones shaping what that looks like for the next generation.

I've thought about this a lot in my own life. Neither my husband nor I were given strong examples of this kind of generational connection. Our grandparents lived far away, and staying in touch was more challenging back then—before texting, video calls, or even affordable long-distance phone plans were available. Because of this, we didn't grow up with regular visits as part of our routine. But that doesn't mean we can't change the story.

We've made a conscious choice to do things differently with our daughter. Every week, we sit down to dinner with my in-laws. We're more intentional about visiting with my side of the family, too. It's not always easy, but we know that these efforts are shaping her understanding of family, connection, and responsibility. It's not just about tradition—it's about showing her what love and loyalty look like in practice.

Family values are reflected in how we contribute to the world around us. Acts of service—volunteering, helping a neighbour, spending time with older relatives—aren't just kind gestures. They're teachable moments. Do you live in a neighbourhood where people look out for one another? If not, could you be the one to initiate that kind of connection? Maybe it's time to sign up to volunteer at a local charity event or donate household items to people in need. These small actions ripple outward, forming the backbone of your family's legacy.

I've come across this time and again: whenever I learn about a family's history, their values often emerge as a recurring theme in their stories. A family's values will guide decisions, explain choices, and give meaning to the stories they pass down. Because when we take the time to reflect on our values—what they are, how we live them, and how we want to pass them on—we create a strong foundation for the next generation to build on.

So, ask yourself: What values do I want my family to carry forward? And how am I living those values today?